Julie is a person who wants everything to go well and because of this she feels duty bound to take an active hands on lead with things they are involved with. So, when faced with a horse on the end of a rope, what is there to do but lead!
It was intriguing that the assumption Julie made whilst responsible for Dixie was that she was in-charge, in-control and it was her role to manage the situation. Interesting, when you realise that Julie was not experienced with horses and had automatically assumed this role – this response led to some very interesting discussions throughout the day.
At first Dixie was inclined to be unresponsive. We talked with Julie about her immediate reaction and her motivation for responding in this way. We suggested some things to her that Dixie might do, like snort, shake her head, walk off. Her response was to say “Oh, I hope she doesn’t”. This highlighted how Julie had assumed leadership and felt responsible for something that she was unable to deal with.
When Dixie tried to walk off, Julie held her back.
We then explored the consequences of both Julie and Dixies’ responses. Dixie was in a safe environment and the school had fences if she walked off she could come to no harm. Dixie would only walk off to explore her surroundings, she would sniff, checkout the horizon or speak to the horse in the next field. Julie understood the reasoning behind this however when Dixie tried to walk off again her immediate reaction was to hold her back. Julie recognised this within herself this time and realising that it was ok for Dixie to express herself by exploring, she began to walk with her. She followed and Dixie led. After several minutes and when both Dixie and Julie understood the purpose and the process. We asked Julie to take the lead. Dixie followed willingly!
Julie has since come back to us to tell us that she has let the reins go and has allowed others to take the lead, to express themselves and explore. She has built better relationships and is reminded of Dixie each time she has a tendency to hold on too tight.