Building Trust

Developing 
Understanding

Respecting Each Other

Build the relationship first.

Don’t generate fear.

Know them well enough to identify a try.

Know them well enough to identify what’s a reinforcement.

Break into small chunks.
 

Take the time it takes.

Reward the try.

Don’t push when they’re trying.

Advance and retreat.

Know your outcome.

Communicate in the language of the other person as far as possible.

Be flexible.

Look for subtle signs.

Reinforce what you want.

Don’t reinforce what you don’t want.
 

Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard (preferably in a clever way so they won’t blame you).

Know when you’re sensitising and when you’re desensitising.

Don’t nag or micromanage.

Keep raising the bar.

Be consistent.

Be prepared to go to phase 4.

Allow mistakes but give them consequences (without blaming or judging).

At least match their energy.

Don’t judge – just be effective.